A long time ago, while I was sleeping; I had a dream, and in the dream I was told that I was different from everyone else. I was not given any reason as to why I was different, and I did not understand what this meant. Then I started to watch the people around me, and except for perhaps their gender and size, I could not see any difference. Later, when I was sharing my experience with a friend of mine, I discovered what this meant: I had dreams and visions. I learned not to speak about this to anyone at an early age, because whenever I did; I would often be laughed at or scorned, and the final result was that I would lose another friend. Looking back now, I can understand their behavior, because several times throughout my life, I have also wished that I could flee. Not only do I have dreams and visions, but I hear voices too. Sometimes I am told to listen to what someone is about to say; while at other times, I am told to watch as something is about to happen. Periodically, I am afflicted for moments, days, weeks, and even months; with the afflictions of other people, so that I might have compassion and understand their suffering. Sometimes the thoughts and feelings of other people are revealed to me. I have prayed several times, begging that all of this would stop, and I have wished that I could be like everyone else. Once, during the night, after several prayers; the Lord said, “My grace is sufficient for you.” I cannot explain to you why this happens, and I have no control over these circumstances. I cannot pick and choose what I will see, hear, or feel, and I cannot prevent this from happening. However in time, sometimes, I am given the wisdom to understand why. One thing that I am certain of is this: I was born in an unholy place, at an unholy time.
My earliest experiences started when I was very young. I remember looking down from the corner of a hospital room, at a child, who happened to be me. There were two large beings standing beside me, one on each side. The one to my right side said, “You have to return now.” Years later, when I was telling a psychiatrist about this experience, he asked me for permission to verify my story. To both of our amazement, the hospital returned a copy of the medical documents within only days of his request. When I was eighteen months old, I was rushed to the local hospital. When I arrived, I was lethargic, and I went into a coma for approximately a day and a half. To this day, I still have the scar on my left ankle, where I was intravenously fed.
Several nights, I saw a number of small angels in my bedroom which appeared ghostly, and although they did not appear frightening, I was always afraid of them.
Another night, I was looking out my bedroom window, and I saw several mean spirited demons descending from the sky. They landed one after the other, in the shadows, behind the house. I was so afraid when I saw them, but then I heard someone say, “They are coming to hurt some of the people on earth, but do not be afraid, they will not hurt you.” (Revelation 12:7-17)
Who is the one who speaks to me? Who is the one that reveals all of this to me, and tries to give me the wisdom to understand? Who is the one who comforts me when I weep or if I am afraid? Who is he, who shows an immeasurable amount of patience for me; even when I am frustrated or angry; because I feel so helpless or ignorant at times? Some people refer to him as the Lord, Jesus (Yeshua). From the beginning, the Lord has disclosed himself too many, and by many names; but ultimately to each of us, he is our God and it is by his spirit; whom I listen to, I learn from, and I live.
My name is Miriam and this is my story…
Shortly after my sixteenth birthday, my mother passed away. During this time I had an opportunity to be closer to my grandmother, Elouise, and I learned that she also had dreams and visions. It was a comfort to know someone else whom I could confide in. One day when I was hurt, I ran to her house, crying: “I wished I had died!” Immediately, she began to console me, and started to tell me a story about my earliest beginnings. She said that she was sure God had a special purpose for me, because if this was not true, I would have died a long time ago. She said that I was supposed to be a blue baby, a stillborn infant. In my mother’s womb the umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck, and I also have RH negative blood, with an A positive factor; which during that time, could be serious. The doctor told my mother that I would not live through the delivery. Then when I did live, he told her that I would not survive, because I was so ill. My mother called my grandmother, exasperated, because she was not sure what she would do with me, and my grandmother told her to just love me like the rest of her girls. My grandmother also said that she believed God sent the angels to me as a child, in order to comfort me, so that I would not be afraid. She knew the circumstances in our home were very volatile. My parents divorced when I was young, and we grew up separated from each other. Sometimes my sister and I attended service, depending upon where we were living at the time, including: The Protestant, Baptist, Episcopalian, Southern Baptist, Mormon, Methodist, and Non-Denominational church. It seemed as though everywhere we went; they each owned the corner stone of salvation and they were determined that we should be baptized, re-baptized, confirmed, or re-born or else we would not be saved. I began to feel like a rag on an old wash board, I was baptized so many times.
I was in the fifth grade the first time that I read the Word of God. I was hiding in a crawl space beneath the two bedroom house that my mother, my brother, and my three sisters shared; where I was rummaging through some old boxes, and I discovered a Bible. A mysterious voice from within me, told me that this was a very important book, so I was determined to read it. Every morning before school, I would hide in the corner of the basement behind the furnace, curled up in an old chair, and read a couple of pages. I was young and I did not understand very much, because too many of the words and names were too difficult for me to understand or pronounce. But I resolved that when I grew up, I wanted to pay my tithe; even though I did not understand what tithing meant, because I knew that it made the Lord happy. I also loved David and Jesus. The years went by and from time to time I would study the Word of God. I realized that no matter how many times I read the Bible, I was either reminded of something that I had forgotten or I learned something new. I was caught hook, line, and sinker, and I was in awe of the Lord! I believed that the Lord masterfully, wonderfully, and beautifully orchestrated and created everything! It seemed to me that the Lord had thought about everything imaginable, in order to create this world, and he had not neglected anything! I wondered why anyone would want to read any other book, because I believed that the Word of God contained the most thrilling stories about life and romance, law and justice, war and peace, science, magic, and mystery. I could imagine the Lord thinking, drafting, creating, and organizing a perfect world!
Several years later, I experienced a very difficult time in my life. It seemed that my circumstances were beyond my control, and I was completely broken. One evening I was weeping uncontrollably and I heard the Spirit of the Lord say, “Take it to the Lord in prayer.” So I went to my bedroom and knelt down at the foot of my bed and I began to pray. I spoke to the Lord with my head and my heart bent. I spoke about the awful pain I felt. I wanted to know what purpose I had in this world and where I belonged. I told him the pain in my heart was so strong, I did not know how I could go on. There was a child who I loved very much that was suffering a great deal of pain, because she was suffering with several illnesses at the same time, and I could not help her. Suddenly, while I was praying, I could feel a hand over my head. The hand was not pressed firmly on my head, but it was gentle. Then I felt as though a sudden rush of water was flowing through my body. The movement flowed from my feet and up to my head. While I felt this sensation rushing through me, I could feel my spirit lifted, and the pain removed. When this happened, I heard the Lord say, “You weep for one child, while I weep for so many.”
That night and several times later, I began to have one particular dream. I saw a house, land, outbuildings, rivers, and creeks. In the dream, I saw a town and the people who lived there, the grass, and the trees. I did not know where this place was or why I saw it, but the place became very familiar to me. Then one day, while I was traveling across the country, I found the place that I had seen so many times in my dreams. I recognized everything, and the house was for sale! I was so confident that the Lord wanted me to move there that I offered the land owner his asking price. This was a very difficult move for me to make. I had to leave my family, my friends, and everything that I was familiar with. The land was far away from my home, and after I moved there I began to wonder if the land was forsaken by God. It was summer and hot and the land was severely eroded. I was not accustomed to living among scorpions, tarantulas, and poisonous snakes! The farm I purchased was in the south, and because I was not born and raised there, I was not welcomed there either. Later, when I learned how some of the people in this rural community treated strangers, in the past. I was sorry when I heard the stories, and grateful that I was just a Yankee. I was sorry because I was living in a Bible belt community, and the people living there were very proud of their Christian heritage.
In time, I learned that the land was not forsaken, and I began to feel as though the Lord had placed me in the front shirt of his pocket, beside his heart, like a small seed. I was quietly tucked away, far away, from all of the things that were hurting me. I needed a place to heal. I needed a place where the Lord could begin to teach me his word, himself. I discovered that some of the dreams and visions that I have had, since I was a child, originated from him. Day by day, and during the night, the Lord taught me. The Lord used everything I found myself surrounded by, in order to help me understand his word. The Lord used the cattle, the crops, the land, and all of life that was teeming around me. I developed a sincere love, a passion, and a hunger to want to learn more. I began an intellectual and spiritual journey that led me through the Word of God, prophesy, theology, humanities, and science.
When I realized that these were the end times, and the Lord wanted to destroy the earth, I was devastated. I had had so many dreams about a great war, of death, and destruction; but I could not understand why. I began to travel as much as possible, because I wanted to see as much of the earth as I could. I wanted to remember everything that the Lord had created, before it was destroyed, and I prayed that everything I saw would remain in my heart forever. I traveled around the country and to many foreign places. Everywhere I traveled, I was in awe of the master artisan and the works of his hands.
But in each place, I also felt a measure of sadness. I could not forget about all of the dreams I had seen. In each place that I went, I would ask the Lord, “How can you destroy this? This is yours, you created this, and it is all so beautiful!” After I had asked the Lord this several times, he chastised me. The Lord was angry because I kept questioning his authority and his plans. I continued to travel; although I was careful never to question the Lord about this again. I wanted to understand everything that happened. What brought civilization to this moment in time that the Lord could be so angry, he could utterly destroy everything he created? After some time passed, I still remained sad, because of the loss of the earth and everything that would be destroyed. One evening while I was sleeping, the Lord asked me, “How long will you mourn for the earth?” Then the Lord began to show me dreams about the new earth, and how it would be so much better and brighter than this place. The new earth will not be neglected, abused, or defiled by bloodshed. It will be a holy place for him to dwell with those who truly loved him, and sought to obey his laws.
Because of the ridicule and rejection I have received, while growing up, I have quietly stored the things that I have learned back in the recesses of my mind. But now that I am getting older, I feel compelled to share the things that I have learned while I have been away on my spiritual journey.
My hope is that this book will give you the same love, passion, and hunger to study the Word of God for yourself and that you may develop as close of a relationship with the Lord as I have. Because I truly believe that unless we turn to the Lord; we cannot and we will not understand or survive these end times.
